My inability to immediately slip into Zen Master mode derives from me not being a Zen Master. But I do play one on TV. Or at least, mostly, in real life. I've worked to hard to home my abilities to be in the moment, not react wildly to things when they slip out of whack, minimize the self-pity, and focus on what is as opposed to what I might want it to be. Clearly I have more work to do.
My five minute freakout (and subsequent 15 minute cool down period) came about because I really care about this next week. I probably have one more Burning Man in me before I decide to take a break and spend vacation time doing something reasonable and low risk like laying on a beach in the Carribean but that's not happening this year.
What is this pull of a freaky "arts festival"? Well, sure, it's the art--that's what I always tell people straight up 'cause it's true and understandable. But that conveys just a slice of the experience. I can't vouch for everyone's experience, but I know that for me (and the wide-eyed smiles of my Burner friends agree) it's fundamentally about the incredibly positive human energy that gets stirred up by helping create, through your presence and participation, a temporary city built on "self reliance and radical self-expression."
Now there's lots of self-expression out there that's not at all radical. Much of it isn't even interesting. And not everybody is self-reliant. But the average expression/self-reliant quotient is certainly raised. And there are extraordinary spectacles. And human conversations with strangers mostly start from a place of intimate kindness and genuine interest that skips over the first four "feeling you out/getting to know you" exchanges you'd have in the default world.
It's not utopia. And it's totally man-made. Hmmm . . . but then so is the larger, less temporary (but never permanent) world.
At my previous job, one of the people who worked for me was totally excited before I went to Burning Man the second time. Why? I asked. "Because we love the Burning Man Mark." What she went on to explain was that the me back from the playa was calm, collected, and fun to be around. For a few months, at least.
I go to Burning Man because I bring something back with me. This past year I think I did an OK--certainly best ever--of bringing back that kind and calm temperment for most of the year, most of the time. I still have work to do . . .